i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There r osticjed everywhere
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
