It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
