Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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