you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
