I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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