I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
