he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
