You're completely useless in the revolution.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
