There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
