This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
