if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
