Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
organizing the empties. That sober.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
