worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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