We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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