will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
