come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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