Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
