Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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