**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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