PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
