Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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