She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize