Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
