This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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