I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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