he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
