imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
