well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We have so much sex to catch up on
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
