Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
