he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
