Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
