I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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