do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
