What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
