When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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