im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
