I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
