my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
