All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
