Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
