pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
