The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
