Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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