the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
