lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
