But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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