I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize