So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
