While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
