:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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