My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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