why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize