haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
