Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize