nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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