nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
