ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
