'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
