Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
