dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
