It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
being pregnant is like rehab
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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