my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
