i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
only you would photoshop your dick
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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