How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
