OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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