Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
